Ballad of Barry and Freda Victoria Wood [F] Freda and Barry sat one night, [Dm] the sky was clear, the stars were bright. [Gm7] The wind was [C7] soft, [Am] the moon was [D] up. [Gm7] Freda drained her [C] cocoa [C7] cup, [F] she licked her lips, she felt sublime. [Dm] She switched off 'Gardeners' Question Time'. [Gm7] Barry [C7] cringed in [Am] fear and [D] dread [slowing down] [Gm7] As Freda grabbed his [C] tie, and [C7] said, [F] Let's do it! Let's do it, [C] do it while the mood is [C7] right! [C7] I'm feeling Appealing, [F] I've really got an [F7^2] appetite. [Bb] I'm on fire with desire, I could [F*] handle half the tenors in a [D7*] male voice choir. [G7] Let's do it! [C] Let's do it [F] tonight! [C7] But he said: [F]I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I’ve [C]got other little jobs on [C7] hand [C7]Dont grouse, around the house [F]I’ve got a busy evening [F7^2] planned [Bb]Stop nagging, I’m flagging [F*]You know as well as I do that the pipes want [D7*]lagging [G7]I can’t do it, [C]I can’t do it [F]tonight.[C7] So she said: [F] Let's do it! Let's do it, [C] do it till our hearts go [C7] boom! [C7] Go native, creative, [F] living in the living [F7^2] room. [Bb] This folly is jolly, [F*] bend me over backwards on the [D7*] hostess trolley. [G7] Let's do it! [C] let's do it [F] tonight! [C7] But he said: [F] I can't do it! I can't do it [C] me 'eavy breathing days [C7] have gone. [C7] I'm older, Feel colder, [F] it's other things that turn me [F7^2] on. [Bb] I'm imploring I'm boring, [F*] let me read this Catalogue on [D7*] vinyl flooring. [G7] I can't do it. I [C] can't do it [F] tonight. [C7] And she said: [F] Let's do it! Let's do it, [C] while I'm really in [C7] the mood! [C7] Three cheers! It's years since I [F] caught you even semi-[F7^2] nude. [Bb] Be drastic; Gymnastic, [F*] wear your baggy Y-fronts with the [D7*] loose elastic. [G7] Let's do it! [C] Let's do it [F] tonight! [C7] [F]I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I [C]know I’d only get it [C7]wrong [C7]Dont angle for me to dangle [F]me arms ave never been that [F7^2] strong [Bb]Stop pouting, stop shouting [F*]You know I pulled a muscle when I did that [D7*] grouting [G7]I can’t do it, [C]I can’t do it [F]tonight.[C7] [F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] I really want to rant and [C7] rave [C7] Lets go, cos I know [F] just how I want you to [F7^2] behave [Bb]not bleakly, not meekly [F*] Beat me on the bottom with a woman’s[D7*] weekly [G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![D7] [G7]Let's do it, [C7]let's do it [F]tonight![D7] [G7]Let's do it, [C7]let's do it [F]tonight [Am7*][F*]