Dear Abby John Prine C F C Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my feet are too long C D My hair's falling out and my rights are all G wrong C F My friends they all tell me, they're no C friends at all C F Won't you write me a letter, won't you give C me a call F G C Signed Bewildered CHORUS: C F Bewildered, Bewildered you have no C complaint C D You are what you are and you ain't what you G ain't C F C So listen up buster listen up good C F C Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood F G C SIGNED Dear Abby C F C Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks C D G My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks C F Every side I get up on is the wrong side of C bed C F If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were C dead F G C Signed Unhappy CHORUS: (unhappy) C F C Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this C D But my stomache makes noises whenever I G kiss C F C My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head C F But my stomache tells me to write you C instead F G C Signed Noisemaker. CHORUS: (noisemaker) C F Dear Abby, Dear Abby, well I never thought C C D That me and my girlfriend would ever get G caught C We were sittin' in the back seat just F C shootin' the breeze C F With her hair up in curlers and her pants C to her knees F G C Signed Just Married CHORUS: (just Married)