The Ballad of Freda And Barry - Victoria Wood [F]Freda and Barry sat one night [Dm]The sky was clear, the stars were bright [Gm7]The wind was [C7]soft, [Am]the moon was [D]up [Gm7]Freda drained her [C]cocoa [C7]cup. [F]She licked her lips she felt sublime! [Dm]She switched off Gardener's Question Time [Gm7]Barry [C7]Cringed [Am]in fear and [D]dread [Gm7]As Freda Grabbed his [C]tie and [C7]said [F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C]do it while the mood [C7]is right! [C7]I'm feeling, appealing, I've [F] really got an [F7]appetite. [Bb]I'm on fire with desire [F]I could handle half the tenors in a [D7]male voice choir. [G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7] But he said: [F]I can't do it, I can't do it, I [C]don't believe in too much [C7]sex [C7]This fashion For passion [F]Turns us into nervous [F7]wrecks. [Bb]No derision, My decision [F]I'd rather watch the Spinners on the [D7]television. [G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7] So she said: [F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C]do it til our hearts go [C7] boom [C7]Go native be creative [F]Living in the living [F7] room [Bb]This folly, this jolly [F]Bend me over backwards on the [D7]hostess trolley [G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7] But he said: [F]I can't do it, I can't do it, Me [C]‘eavy breathing days ave [C7]gone [C7]I’m older, I feel colder [F]Its t’other things that turn me [F7] on [Bb]I’m imploring, I’m boring [F]Let me read this catalogue on [D7] vinyl flooring [G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7] So she said: [F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] have a crazy night of [C7] love [C7] I’ll strip bare, I’ll just wear [F]Stilettos and an oven [F7] glove [Bb]Dont starve a girl of a palava [F] Dangle from the wardrobe in your [D7] balaclava [G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7] [F]I can't do it, I can't do it, I [C]know I’d only get it [C7]wrong [C7]Dont angle for me to dangle [F]me arms ave never been that [F7] strong [Bb]Stop pouting, stop shouting [F]You know I pulled a muscle when I did that [D7]grouting [G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7] [F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] share a night of wild [C7] romance [C7] Frenetic, poetic [F]This could be your last big [F7] chance [Bb]To quote Milton, to eat Stilton [F] To roll in gay abandon on the tufted [D7] Wilton [G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7] [F]I can't do it, I can't do it, I’ve [C]got other little jobs on [C7]hand [C7]Dont grouse, around the house [F]I’ve got a busy evening [F7] planned [Bb]Stop nagging, I’m flagging [F]You know as well as I do that the pipes want [D7]lagging [G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7] [F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] while I’m really in the [C7] mood [C7] Three cheers, it’s years [F]Since I caught you even semi [F7] nude [Bb]be drastic, gymnastic [F] Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose [D7] elastic [G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7] [F]I can't do it, I can't do it, I [C]must refuse to get [C7]undressed [C7] I feel silly, it’s too chilly [F]To go without me thermal [F7] vest [Bb]Dont choose me, don’t use me [F]Me mother sent a note to say you must [D7] excuse me [G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7] [F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] I feel i absolutely [C7]must [C7]I wont exempt you, want to tempt you [F] I want to drive you mad with [F7]lust [Bb]no cautions, just contortions [F]Smear an avocado on my [D7]lower portions [G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7] [F]I can't do it, I can't do it, It’s [C]really not my cup of [C7]tea [C7] I feel har- rassed, embarassed [F]I wish you hadn’t picked on [F7] me [Bb]No dramas, in my Pyjamas [F]The only girl I’m mad about is [D7] Judith chalmers [G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7] [F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] I really want to run [C7] amok [C7] Lets wiggle, lets jiggle [F] lets really make the rafters [F7] rock [Bb]be mighty, be flighty [F] Come and melt the buttons on my flameproof [D7] nightie [G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7] [F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] I really want to rant and [C7] rave [C7] Lets go, cos I know [F] just how I want you to [F7] behave [Bb]not bleakly, not meekly [F] Beat me on the bottom with my woman’s[D7] weekly [G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![D7] [G7]Let's do it, [C7]let's do it [F]tonight![D7] [G7]Let's do it, [C7]let's do it [F]tonight [C6][F]