The Ballad of Freda And Barry - Victoria Wood
[F]Freda and Barry sat one night
[Dm]The sky was clear, the stars were bright
[Gm7]The wind was [C7]soft, [Am]the moon was [D]up
[Gm7]Freda drained her [C]cocoa [C7]cup.
[F]She licked her lips she felt sublime!
[Dm]She switched off Gardener's Question Time
[Gm7]Barry [C7]Cringed [Am]in fear and [D]dread
[Gm7]As Freda Grabbed his [C]tie and [C7]said
[F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C]do it while the mood [C7]is right!
[C7]I'm feeling, appealing,
I've [F] really got an [F7]appetite.
[Bb]I'm on fire with desire
[F]I could handle half the tenors in a [D7]male voice choir.
[G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7]
But he said:
[F]I can't do it, I can't do it,
I [C]don't believe in too much [C7]sex
[C7]This fashion For passion
[F]Turns us into nervous [F7]wrecks.
[Bb]No derision, My decision
[F]I'd rather watch the Spinners on the [D7]television.
[G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7]
So she said:
[F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C]do it til our hearts go [C7] boom
[C7]Go native be creative
[F]Living in the living [F7] room
[Bb]This folly, this jolly
[F]Bend me over backwards on the [D7]hostess trolley
[G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7]
But he said:
[F]I can't do it, I can't do it,
Me [C]‘eavy breathing days ave [C7]gone
[C7]I’m older, I feel colder
[F]Its t’other things that turn me [F7] on
[Bb]I’m imploring, I’m boring
[F]Let me read this catalogue on [D7] vinyl flooring
[G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7]
So she said:
[F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] have a crazy night of [C7] love
[C7] I’ll strip bare, I’ll just wear
[F]Stilettos and an oven [F7] glove
[Bb]Dont starve a girl of a palava
[F] Dangle from the wardrobe in your [D7] balaclava
[G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7]
[F]I can't do it, I can't do it,
I [C]know I’d only get it [C7]wrong
[C7]Dont angle for me to dangle
[F]me arms ave never been that [F7] strong
[Bb]Stop pouting, stop shouting
[F]You know I pulled a muscle when I did that [D7]grouting
[G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7]
[F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] share a night of wild [C7] romance
[C7] Frenetic, poetic
[F]This could be your last big [F7] chance
[Bb]To quote Milton, to eat Stilton
[F] To roll in gay abandon on the tufted [D7] Wilton
[G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7]
[F]I can't do it, I can't do it,
I’ve [C]got other little jobs on [C7]hand
[C7]Dont grouse, around the house
[F]I’ve got a busy evening [F7] planned
[Bb]Stop nagging, I’m flagging
[F]You know as well as I do that the pipes want [D7]lagging
[G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7]
[F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] while I’m really in the [C7] mood
[C7] Three cheers, it’s years
[F]Since I caught you even semi [F7] nude
[Bb]be drastic, gymnastic
[F] Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose [D7] elastic
[G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7]
[F]I can't do it, I can't do it,
I [C]must refuse to get [C7]undressed
[C7] I feel silly, it’s too chilly
[F]To go without me thermal [F7] vest
[Bb]Dont choose me, don’t use me
[F]Me mother sent a note to say you must [D7] excuse me
[G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7]
[F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] I feel i absolutely [C7]must
[C7]I wont exempt you, want to tempt you
[F] I want to drive you mad with [F7]lust
[Bb]no cautions, just contortions
[F]Smear an avocado on my [D7]lower portions
[G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7]
[F]I can't do it, I can't do it,
It’s [C]really not my cup of [C7]tea
[C7] I feel har- rassed, embarassed
[F]I wish you hadn’t picked on [F7] me
[Bb]No dramas, in my Pyjamas
[F]The only girl I’m mad about is [D7] Judith chalmers
[G7]I can't do it, [C]I can't do it [F]tonight.[C7]
[F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] I really want to run [C7] amok
[C7] Lets wiggle, lets jiggle
[F] lets really make the rafters [F7] rock
[Bb]be mighty, be flighty
[F] Come and melt the buttons on my flameproof [D7] nightie
[G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![C7]
[F]Let's do it,let's do it, [C] I really want to rant and [C7] rave
[C7] Lets go, cos I know
[F] just how I want you to [F7] behave
[Bb]not bleakly, not meekly
[F] Beat me on the bottom with my woman’s[D7] weekly
[G7]Let's do it, [C]let's do it [F]tonight![D7]
[G7]Let's do it, [C7]let's do it [F]tonight![D7]
[G7]Let's do it, [C7]let's do it [F]tonight
[C6][F]
The Ballad of Freda And Barry [F]Victoria Wood
FFreda and Barry sat one night
DmThe sky was clear, the stars were bright
Gm7The wind was C7soft, Amthe moon was Dup
Gm7Freda drained her Ccocoa C7cup.
FShe licked her lips she felt sublime!
DmShe switched off Gardener's Question Time
Gm7Barry C7Cringed Amin fear and Ddread Gm7As Freda Grabbed his Ctie and C7said
FLet's do it,let's do it, Cdo it while the mood C7is right! C7I'm feeling, appealing, I've F really got an F7appetite. BbI'm on fire with desire FI could handle half the tenors in a D7male voice choir. G7Let's do it, Clet's do it Ftonight!C7
But he said FI can't do it, I can't do it, I Cdon't believe in too much C7sex C7This fashion For passion FTurns us into nervous F7wrecks. BbNo derision, My decision FI'd rather watch the Spinners on the D7television. G7I can't do it, CI can't do it Ftonight.C7
So she said FLet's do it,let's do it, Cdo it til our hearts go C7 boom C7Go native be creative FLiving in the living F7 room BbThis folly, this jolly FBend me over backwards on the D7hostess trolley G7Let's do it, Clet's do it Ftonight!C7
But he said FI can't do it, I can't do it, Me C‘eavy breathing days ave C7gone C7I’m older, I feel colder FIts t’other things that turn me F7 on BbI’m imploring, I’m boring FLet me read this catalogue on D7 vinyl flooring G7I can't do it, CI can't do it Ftonight.C7
So she said FLet's do it,let's do it, C have a crazy night of C7 love C7 I’ll strip bare, I’ll just wear FStilettos and an oven F7 glove BbDont starve a girl of a palava F Dangle from the wardrobe in your D7 balaclava G7Let's do it, Clet's do it Ftonight!C7
FI can't do it, I can't do it, I Cknow I’d only get it C7wrong C7Dont angle for me to dangle Fme arms ave never been that F7 strong BbStop pouting, stop shouting FYou know I pulled a muscle when I did that D7grouting G7I can't do it, CI can't do it Ftonight.C7
FLet's do it,let's do it, C share a night of wild C7 romance C7 Frenetic, poetic FThis could be your last big F7 chance BbTo quote Milton, to eat Stilton F To roll in gay abandon on the tufted D7 Wilton G7Let's do it, Clet's do it Ftonight!C7
FI can't do it, I can't do it, I’ve Cgot other little jobs on C7hand C7Dont grouse, around the house FI’ve got a busy evening F7 planned BbStop nagging, I’m flagging FYou know as well as I do that the pipes want D7lagging G7I can't do it, CI can't do it Ftonight.C7
FLet's do it,let's do it, C while I’m really in the C7 mood C7 Three cheers, it’s years FSince I caught you even semi F7 nude Bbbe drastic, gymnastic F Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose D7 elastic G7Let's do it, Clet's do it Ftonight!C7
FI can't do it, I can't do it, I Cmust refuse to get C7undressed C7 I feel silly, it’s too chilly FTo go without me thermal F7 vest BbDont choose me, don’t use me FMe mother sent a note to say you must D7 excuse me G7I can't do it, CI can't do it Ftonight.C7
FLet's do it,let's do it, C I feel i absolutely C7must C7I wont exempt you, want to tempt you F I want to drive you mad with F7lust Bbno cautions, just contortions FSmear an avocado on my D7lower portions G7Let's do it, Clet's do it Ftonight!C7
FI can't do it, I can't do it, It’s Creally not my cup of C7tea C7 I feel har- rassed, embarassed FI wish you hadn’t picked on F7 me BbNo dramas, in my Pyjamas FThe only girl I’m mad about is D7 Judith chalmers G7I can't do it, CI can't do it Ftonight.C7
FLet's do it,let's do it, C I really want to run C7 amok C7 Lets wiggle, lets jiggle F lets really make the rafters F7 rock Bbbe mighty, be flighty F Come and melt the buttons on my flameproof D7 nightie G7Let's do it, Clet's do it Ftonight!C7
FLet's do it,let's do it, C I really want to rant and C7 rave C7 Lets go, cos I know F just how I want you to F7 behave Bbnot bleakly, not meekly F Beat me on the bottom with my woman’sD7 weekly G7Let's do it, Clet's do it Ftonight!D7
G7Let's do it, C7let's do it Ftonight!D7 G7Let's do it, C7let's do it Ftonight